Crazy Newspaper Edition 1
14 february 2005

George W Bush priceless

Next week, the Mastercard company will be sued by the government for the following advertisement campaign.

bush priceless
playing with economics: 50 billion $
playing with soldiers: 100 billion $
electing the village idiot as a president: priceless
They will defend themselves by saying that they have the right to express themselves however they want. This will probably not be accepted by the judges as this right is no longer valid after the recent judicial changes made by George W Bush.

Terroristic alert

(George W Bush) "Our intelligence agencies believe that Osama Bin Laden is in possess of weapons of mass destruction. Two black knives, one fork and a telephone. That's why we activated the highest terroristic alert. We believe he is planning to attack civilians in their own houses, more exactly in the kitchens. We do not intend to scare you, but the highest precaution is required while entering your kitchen. Look carefully if you see suspected objects like knives, forks and telephones. If you see them, make sure no to touch them and contact the FBI immediately."

Statue of Liberty

George W Bush removed the Statue Of Liberty last week, assuming it had no use any more. It will be replaced by a huge oil derrick.

Theory of Evolution

I love monkeys, I look like a monkey and I act like a monkey, but my father ain't a monkey. (George W Bush)

George Bush presents his world atlas

After 80 days of 'hard' work, George W. Bush presents his newest achieval, a world atlas. The atlas will be available in three languages: English, French and German and will be sold in 79 countries. CN managed to arrange a short interview.

How did you come to the idea of making an atlas?
I noticed that my knowledge of geography was different than what other people knew about it. Everyone thought that I made a lot of mistakes. That's not true. Just try to look at it from my side. What I say is much simpler and should be the truth, and what others pretend is much more complicated and should be wrong.

Can you give us an example?
It's much easier to understand if I say that I'm going to Disneyland, than if I say that I'm going to Florida. Why shouldn't we change the name of the state then? That's why I created my own atlas, to let other people understand me and make the world much more simple. It's going to be called 'Atlas'. Original name, don't you think?

Of course. Do you want to say something to the American people before you leave?
Just remember my slogan: 'Don't think, vote Bush'.

We sure will. Thank you for the interview.

© Steve Bondings 2004-2005
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