Crazy Newspaper Edition 1
14 february 2005

How to keep your computer clean from viruses?

stop antivirus

Do you remember that virus you had some time ago? The one that erased all your files. You thought you were secure? You just installed the new Norton Antivirus on you brand new Windows XP. Well, this is the best proof that those programs suck. Windows XP is just a bunch of security leaks and antivirus software is there to make money as long as possible. They have completely no use; their only effect is to slow down your computer.

So stop using all those useless antivirus programs, firewalls and data recovery software unless you would like to empty your wallet or unless you collect viruses. But this is very unlikely. My advice: don't be so stupid. Just throw them away as quick as possible. And never, never install them again.

The solution to this problem is very simple. So simple, that you might ask yourself why you didn't think of it. Computers are very similar to normal people. What are you doing to keep yourself healthy? You wash yourself. And there is no other way to keep yourself clean. You can be examined by doctors 24 hours on 24, if you don't wash yourself, you get sick. Even little children understand this.

washing child

As I said, with computers it's just the same thing. You have to wash them too. At least once a week to keep them clean. If you do it with our new CN computer soap, we will guarantee you that you won't get viruses on that computer any more. Never again! Isn't that magnificent?

Buy our new yellow CN computer soap for just 10$ and your computer will be released from viruses. This is much more efficient and cheaper than those unusefull and expensive antivirus programs. Buy it now and get a second soap for free.

Microsoft Windows

"That's one small step for me, one giant leap for hackerkind." (Bill Gates about Microsoft Windows)

C&C: Make War, Not Love

EA Games announces his newest game Command & Conquer: Make War, Not Love. It will be available in the beginning of next year at an estimate of 50$. A demo is coming soon.

Millionth security leak

Microsoft celebrates the millionth security leak in Windows.
"This is the most beautiful day in my whole life. And if I'm lucky, I'll be able to create another million of them." (Bill Gates making a birthday wish)

Crazy News virus

This is the new Crazy-News virus. Because we at CN lack the technical background, this is a manual virus.
Please delete all files from your hard disk, destroy all back-ups and send this virus to everyone you know.
However, Crazy News is not responsible for any damages you may encounter during this process.

Write for us or advertise in this newspaper

Crazy News is searching for talented writers to write some funny and weird news stories for our website. We are also searching for people who want to advertise in this newspaper.
To write stories, you just have to register on the main website. You can find more information on our forum or by contacting us.
© Steve Bondings 2004-2005
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