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Michael Jackson has Mad Cow Disease

A horrible disease

What many people always thought, was yesterday confirmed by a large team of doctors. According to doctor Thomas H Johnson (head of the team), Michael Jackson suffers from the Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE), widely known as the Mad Cow Disease. A few weeks ago they came to the conclusion that Jackson appeared to have all the symptoms of this severe disease and the medical team immediately took a blood proof and came to this awful conclusion.

With a horrible cause


Michael Jackson The exact cause of BSE is not known but it is generally accepted by the scientific community that the likely cause of BSE is cannibalism, which resulted in infectious forms of a type of protein, prions, normally found in animals. In cattle with BSE, these abnormal prions initially occur in the small intestines and tonsils, and are found in central nervous tissues, such as the brain and spinal cord, and other tissues of infected animals experiencing later stages of the disease.

Some rumors, which we will not hush up at Crazy News, say that cannibalism is the real cause in this case. According to these rumors Michael Jackson ate the foremost parts of his nose. This would have caused the formation of the malicious prions, and the beginning of the Mad Cow Disease.

There is no need to panic about this severe disease. It is very rare and the FDA and other federal agencies have had preventive measures in place to reduce the U.S. consumer's risk of exposure to any BSE-contaminated meat and food products. However, if you suffer from the combination of the same symptoms as Michael Jackson, you are strongly advised to contact the medical assistance immediately.

And horrible symptoms

  • A very sudden change in the color of the skin. Most patients become totally pale.

  • Making strange movements with legs and hands.

  • Making weird sounds that look like a mixture of singing and crying.

  • Waking up next to children you never saw before in your whole life.

  • Standing in front of a mirror and not being able to conclude if you are a girl or a boy.

  • Thinking that babies love to fly from balconies.

  • Parts of the body, like noses, that begin to shrink suddenly.

Newsflash

(George W Bush) "Our intelligence agencies believe that Osama Bin Laden is in possess of weapons of mass destruction. Two black knives, one fork and a telephone. That's why we activated the highest terroristic alert. We believe he is planning to attack civilians in their own houses, more exactly in the kitchens. We do not intend to scare you, but the hightest precaution is required while entering your kitchen. Look carefully if you see suspected objects like knives, forks and telephones. If you see them, make sure no to touch any of those suspicious objects and contact the FBI immediately."

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