Crazy News Newsflashes (11)

This is the new Crazy-News virus. Because we at CN lack the technical background, this is a manual virus.
Please delete all files from your hard disk, destroy all back-ups and send this virus to everyone you know.
CN is not responsible for any damages you may encounter during this process.

I love monkeys, I look like a monkey and I act like a monkey, but my father ain't a monkey. (George W Bush about the theory of evolution)

(George W Bush) "Our intelligence agencies believe that Osama Bin Laden is in possess of weapons of mass destruction. Two black knives, one fork and a telephone. That's why we activated the highest terroristic alert. We believe he is planning to attack civilians in their own houses, more exactly in the kitchens. We do not intend to scare you, but the hightest precaution is required while entering your kitchen. Look carefully if you see suspected objects like knives, forks and telephones. If you see them, make sure no to touch any of those suspicious objects and contact the FBI immediately."

Important message from a Coca Cola employee.
Last week I lost my two front teeth at work. They probably fell in a bottle. They are quite old and thus very important for me. I was using them every day, allthough they became darker and darker every day.
If you find them, please contact me as I am collecting them.

New suicide pill KG-451 now available.
Side effects : headache, vomitting and itch.
Do not take more than once.

George W Bush removed the Statue Of Liberty last week, assuming it had no use any more. It will be replaced by a huge oil derrick.

"That's one small step for me, one giant leap for hackerkind." (Bill Gates about Microsoft Windows)

Microsoft celebrates the millionth security leak in Windows. Bill Gates reacts that if he's lucky, he'll be able to create another million.

Crazy News launches his new television company. It will be called Crazy News Net. (CNN)
Important notice: in opposition to CN, all the crazy news items will be fake, totally not corresponding to reality. Everyone should fully understand this before watching CNN.

Crazy News launches his own radio station CN-fm. You can now listen to our crazy news stories on the radio. We are broadcasting live from the local madhouse at 95.7 Mhz.

EA Games announces his newest game Command & Conquer: Make War, Not Love. It will be available in the beginning of next year at an estimate of 50$. A demo is coming soon.